Shut Up Iris

It's not so much performance or reliability as it was in the eighties and nineties, even though my 1994 Mercury Grand Marquis has basically the same engine as a brand new Ford Mustang, but I digress. It is the bloated production and multiple lines of vehicles, typified by GM's EIGHTY FUCKING SIX models. Now I know you say to yourself '86 models? That's a lot of variety.' No, fucktard, it isn't.

Say you want a pickup truck, okay, GM has GMC, Chevy, Hummer and Cadillac pickup trucks, that's right GM right away has four brands competing with themselves(go ahead, take a look). It's like kissing your sister, and then your other sister and your other sister and then finally having sex with your mom. That's the competition that GM sets up before your hopelessly inbred synapses realize that Toyota and Ford make trucks as well, what if you look at them too............?

GM seemed to never learn that if someone doesn't like a GMC pickup truck, they probably aren't going to like the Chevy either since they are basically the same thing. Now dusting Pontiac is a good start, that's now FIVE FUCKING FOUR DOOR SEDANS that Saturn, Buick, Chevy, Blitzer, Donner, Saab and Cadillac don't have to compete with, go ahead, take a big steamy gawk.

And again, if you don't like the five door Pontiac G3 then you probably aren't going to like the Saturn Astra 5 door either. So now you're saying to yourself 'Why am I still reading this I get the point.' so let's get to the point, let's look at BMW's model lineup. BMW has TEN BASIC MODELS. Holy Jesus Balls how do they make money with only 10 models?

Guess what, it's even less than ten when you take a look and see that the M Series cars are just super-steroid tuned versions of other models. Even counting on all trim options and engine options BMW still only has about thirty to forty trim/engine/machine gun combos, of course if you do the same thing and take into account GM's trim and engine option for each one of their models...................well, let's just say computing that number would cause a blackhole localized in your brain.

So for fear of causing a gravitic anomaly I will sum up: American car companies= bloated/monolithic companies that end up plowing money from sucessful popular brands into horrible, waste of space brands that no one would ever buy.

That is how that works, I'll just sit and wait for GM to offer the role of CEO to save them.