Shut Up Iris

Sometimes I get to work and in the course of checking the servers and the backups and telling people to get out of my office I get a chance to read the 'News'. I put 'News' in quotes there because most of the 'News' we see isn't NEWS, that is important current events that affect our lives, but is 'News' that is filler and puff pieces where an idiot reporter finds an equally idiotic moron that has done some something stupid and writes a story about it. Today, I found This: SKorean experts claim to have cloned glowing dogs. Cloning is pretty big news, but they had already cloned regular dogs, but then this Korean jackass whom we'll call Dr. Dong, created 'glowing dogs' and then cloned them.

Of course Dr. Dong says that inserting the fluorescent gene that makes them glow will pave the way for research into Parkinson's and other human genes, but refused to say how, he also doesn't say why cloning the glowing dogs helped with this research leading me to believe that Dr. Dong and his idiot colleagues had a bunch of grant money and simply said 'Why the fuck not, glow in the dark dogs will look good on camera' they were wrong, see the above picture. Medical and scientific research is of course very valuable to helping to cure disease and make our lives easier, but stories like these make me think that some scientists just do shit to fuck around and then when reporters start showing up utter words like 'Parkinsons', 'Cure', 'Significant' and 'Ruppy' to make people think they are helping. To quote Dr. Dong "What's significant in this work is not the dogs expressing red colors but that we planted genes into them." which of course they have previously done in earlier dogs without the expensive and time consuming task of cloning involved. Of course maybe they have a next step in mind.

I suspect that Dr. Dong has two possible motives. First, he is Korean and maybe glowing dogs taste better or are easier to cook than non-glowing dogs (Failed experiment = early lunch!) and easier to get on the plate in a blackout. Second, and much more sinister, is that he is creating a master race of dogs that will eventually rule the world.

Again we come back to the point of my first article, that there are certain set of humans that want to be subservient to canine overlords. I mean, come on, being able to lick your own asshole HAS to be a sign of great power. So let's salute Dr. Dong and his fabulous glowing dogs, his refusal to say why it will help and of course the asshole of a 'journalist' that passed up a real news story because beagles are cute.

AIDs, cancer, swineflu and heart disease will take care of themselves now that we can clone glowing dogs.