Shut Up Iris

I think it's time that we as Americans sit back and ask ourselves 'what the fuck does the CIA do?' we deserve an honest answer. During the Cold War talk of reducing the CIA's budget or shit-canning it altogether was heresy. Heresy even though the CIA was the one branch of government riddled with KGB double agents, in fact 90% of Soviet Russia's information on Top Secret American shit was obtained from the CIA, and yet only two CIA agents were ever caught passing such information. How do we know? The KGB files are public, that's how we know.

Recently the CIA has done much, much more harm than good.Did the CIA foresee the fall of communism? No? They were caught off guard and actually suggested it was a KGB trick.How about the fall of the Shah and the Iranian revolution? No? The CIA in Iran only suggested that the Shah was having minor trouble, and then had to engineer a coupe that soured our formerly good relations with Iran. Did the CIA intercept overseas Al Qaeda operatives before they flew jets into the WTC? No? Well, that was a tough one. Korean nukes, did the CIA see that coming? No? Well, you know North Korea is a tough place to get info out of? Iranian nukes? No? The CIA publicly claims that Iran is a nuclear threat while they privately admit that Iran has discontinued it's Nuclear Weapons program. How about Saddam Hussein's WMD's I'm sure they found tons of those after their sources told them where they were? No, damn.

So what the fuck has the CIA been using taxpayer money for??


So why do we bother? So far this decade and the previous decade we got false information that led us into the Iraq war, nuclear stalemate with North Korea and leading us to conflict with Iran. This leaves us to two conclusions. First the CIA is incompetent or Second the CIA is lying. Either way they are doing us no good. I for one think the CIA should immediately be disbanded and the billions of dollars they get should pay for universal healthcare.

The paranoia of the Cold War led to the growth of the nebulous CIA but history has shown that the CIA is often wrong and/or late with any information that might save the lives of Americans at home and abroad. If you watch the movies you'll see that we need British Intelligence to save the CIA's ass time and again.



It's time that we Americans used our brains and started getting rid of the chaff in our government that does nothing but cost us money with no results and the CIA is the perfect place to start. Government should be lean and mean and most importantly serve the people. We aren't being served by the CIA, the CIA is simply a self perpetuating house of lies that seeks to justify it's own existence by 'leaking' information of threats to keep us too scared to realize what a crock of unprofessional shit they are.



We've learned that the CIA has been universally wrong in it's threat assessments, they have broken US and international law with extraordinary renditions and torture and have generally gotten in the way of the FBI investigation 9/11, the bomb attack on the USS Cole and actually arresting terrorists and bringing them to justice.

Far from being useless, the CIA is actually a liability to the United States of America and endangers each and every Americans lives and freedoms every day.

Normally I'm proud to be American, but every now and again I look around at what my fellow Americans are doing and I see some very stupid, shameful, ignorant things that no one with any portion of a working brain would do. Americans are the world's best at doing things without even understanding what they are doing, or why.

I give you Christmas in August:


That's right. In an effort to boost sales and get people spending Christmas has been rolled out in August. Now, I'm no economics expert, but pushing Christmas sales ahead to August , during a recession, I don't know, somewhere in my head that thing called my brain just shouts 'PEOPLE STILL DON'T HAVE JOBS OR MONEY YOU ASSHOLES!!' and I have to agree with my brain. I then give it scotch as a reward.

The next thing that is embarrassing me about Americans is Hitler:


Now, I'm no big time city lawyer but I agreed with Republicans that it was tasteless, crass and blown all out of proportion when anti-war and anti-torture protesters showed up to protests with things that equated Bush with Hitler. They aren't even close, there is no comparison. Of course Republicans having a shameful tactic like that pulled on them, wouldn't stoop to using such a pig ignorant and obviously retarded tactic that has no value in political discourse and is only a shock tactic to fool retards............


Universal health care is not socialism, Hitler didn't start up the Nazi regime with universal health care and giving Americans a universal public option is not Nazism by any convoluted stretch of the imagination. It isn't and anyone who says it is a lying asshole. The United States of America has the 35th best health care system in the world, which means we are #1 in health care among third world nations, according to Foreign Policy magazine the US is the 4th worst health care reform mess on the planet. The US spends ten times as any other developed country on Earth only to get the 35th best? The US is the only industrialized nation without universal health care of some sort? Fuck, the United States is the Mexico of industrialized nations when it comes to health care.

Of course if people don't like facts they can voice whatever their opinion is, this is after all a free country, so why not show up at a Town Hall meeting in your area and take part in a nice, reasoned, question and answer session with your local lawmakers:


Embarrassed? You should be. I'll explain it slowly here. Guns are weapons. Guns are designed to kill people. Showing up someplace with loaded weapons strapped to you implies a certain level of hostility. Showing up at a political rally or debate with a weapon only has one purpose, to intimidate those who do not think or feel as you do. Bringing a gun to political rally is the ultimate form of censorship. The 'agree with me or die' platform was very popular with, you guessed it:


If you want to call someone a Nazi, do it over something like carrying guns and showing up in full military regalia to a political debate. Armed thugs at political events is basically what Nazism is, it has nothing to do with health care. I've mentioned before that I like guns, I think people should be allowed to carry them, with certain common sense restrictions. Those restrictions should rely on the common sense of the people. Reasonable people should be able to look in the mirror and say things like: 'I'm going to pick up the kids at day care, I should leave the gun at home.' or 'I'm having dinner with my good friends, maybe there will be alcohol, I'll leave the gun at home.' and finally 'I'm going to a Town Hall meeting, people may not agree with me and I shouldn't try and intimidate them into silence, I'll leave the gun at home.' BUT the embarrassing fact is that retarded American assholes have lost the ability to make even the simplest of common sense judgment calls. That's what makes it so easy for people to take your rights away, you idiots.

So, there you have. The average American's lack of common sense makes this gung-ho gun owner rub my temples and see why people feel gun restrictions are necessary. The inability of brain dead Americans make this Patriot say 'Universal healthcare? Why not, the people ramming the Nazi signs down my throat don't have a plan so we may as well go with the people who have an actual plan.' and finally, stupid ass American stores make me throw up my hands and say 'Fuck baby Jesus, I'm not even going to celebrate Christmas anymore. I'm not buying shit for any body.'

The lesson here is that if you throw out common sense and try to shove things on to people using stupid advertising, calling them Nazis or waving your gun at them, they aren't going to listen to you.

You stupid assholes.