Shut Up Iris

I've read a few articles about this soccer World Cup thing, and seen part of a match or two while flipping past ESPN and here is the opinion I've formed of the entire thing. First: ESPN totally sucks unless it's Friday Night Fights or Pardon the Interruption. Wilbon is a Chicago guy and that's never bad and Kornheiser is a cranky old man with a short circuit between his mouth and his brain. Second: Soccer is still the gayest sport. Third: Soccer fans need to be rounded up and gassed.

Now some fans give me hope:


But most seem to be:


Now I've read some pundits go on and on about how the US of A needs to catch up with the rest of the world on this crazy soccer thing and that the US of A soccer team doing good will finally wake up the US of A to the greatness of soccer and all things soccer. I sure as hell hope not. We're already brain dead enough about politics up in this bitch to join in on the soccer-retardation that the rest of the world suffers from. Honestly invading a few countries for no reason does much less damage to the world than say the vuvuzela.

The vuvuzela is grounds for justifiable homicide. I can understand being a fan and wanting to make some noise for your team but the rest of the world is very bad at this. Normally I make it to about three or four Chicago Bulls games a year, and yes I shout and holler when a play is made, but here in the US, when your team is stinking up the joint or nothing is happening, we all stop the yelling. So far as I've seen soccer fans blow the vuvuzela no matter what, they blow it continuously. Why? I think it's because even soccer fans realize how pathetic and boring soccer is and how low they have become to travel to some arm-pit country in Africa to watch a game so what else can you do? The vuvuzela drowns out the sound of depression apparently.

The other thing I dislike is how hipsters here in the US of A have started calling soccer 'Football' or 'Futbol'. This is America damn it, it's 'soccer' 'football' is a sport with pads and hitting and professional dog-fighting.

On the scale of things that you have to be horribly depressed and/or retarded to like soccer ranks right up there with baseball. You know something isn't any real fun when it's only fun if you're wasted or have to distract yourself with a noise maker.

That is all.

Christianity, the official version, is based on the life of one Jesus Lamar Christ who was the Son of God and who supposedly proved it by performing miracles over two thousand years ago. Let's overlook that the Bible is the only account of the time that mentions Jesus and his miraculous doings, let's overlook the out and out inaccuracies in the Bible or the ways in which it defies logic and actual reality and let's focus on something more current and more stupider.

Torture. There, I said it, I'd say it again if I had to. Jesus was tortured by the Romans before being horribly executed, totally unfairly according to Christians. Jesus was tortured so bad that most Christians today still hold a grudge against the Jews for the Romans torturing of Christ. What? Never mind, now you'd think that a religion founded by their leader being tortured and crucified would be extra sensitive about things like torture and crucification.



You'd think, but no. Even though Jesus made water into wine, brought people back from the dead and invented a very comfy form of sandal this is the image that most Christians have of Jesus:



Yes folks Jesus' final trick before leaving The Sands Hotel in Vegas was DYING FOR OUR SINS! So let's commemorate it by taking every opportunity to make a depiction of this gentle man's horrible, horrible death! There is something wrong about that. Very deeply psychologically wrong.

This isn't even the bad part, it gets worse. Jesus said love thy neighbor, love thy enemy as you love thyself, turn the other cheek, yadda-yadda-yadda, shut the fuck up Jesus, we're Christians and we KNOW what you meant better than you do. 'What?' you may be asking take a look here at this poll. That can't be right, no? Look at what happened when a Christian disagrees with torture. Holy Jesus Shit. For some, unknown reason Evangelical Christians overwhelmingly believe in and fully support torture. This level of hypocrisy hasn't been attempted since Pastor Ted Haggard snorted coke off the ass of a male prostitute before engaging in homosexual sex.



The level of mind numbing, self deluding hypocrisy it takes to be a follower of the 'Prince of Peace' and condone torture is beyond calculation. This level of hypocrisy should have only one reaction from normal rational human beings and that is: Complete and utter hatred.

That's how I feel, I hate Christians, Christians can go fuck themselves, they have no concept of J.J. Christ and his teachings and have no concept of humanity or compassion.

Faith is willful ignorance, and Christians get the gold.